Latest Posts
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There’s a funny thing that happens when you tell your side of a story — especially when it doesn’t paint someone in the best light. People who once claimed to stand for truth, fairness, or loyalty suddenly become very selective about when those values apply. Especially if the person they’re defending is the one who did the damage. My most recent post hit a nerve. I know that, because the reaction wasn’t just emotional — it was strategic. Fake ratings, automated downvotes, deliberate attempts to tank the visibility of something that simply told the truth. Not slander. Not rage. Just…
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Looks like one of my posts struck a nerve — someone’s been using bots or automated tools to review bomb my blog with 1-star ratings.
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I’m at a point now where I both love her and hate her. And the part of me that still loves her? I fucking hate that too. Because yeah, she had good qualities. She was amazing at planning things — days out, holidays, birthdays, Christmas — all the things I’ve always been crap at. She managed the house, looked after the kids, kept everything ticking over. Financially, I was a disaster, and she handled all the bills. We were in a good place because of her, and I never failed to tell her how much I appreciated that. Did I…
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After three weeks off work to deal with everything going on, I wasn’t sure I was ready to return. My head was still full — looping over everything that had happened. But that final weekend before I returned, something quietly shifted. There wasn’t a single moment I could pinpoint, no lightbulb epiphany. But I was out with friends, laughing, talking, smiling — and I suddenly thought: this is me. I recognised myself again. I’ve always struggled in social situations — I’m autistic — but I showed up. I made the effort. I could enjoy things once I found my rhythm.…
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One day, you wake up. You wake up with clarity. The air feels fresher, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you’re not carrying that crippling tightness in your chest — the one that made it hard to breathe. You look back. You reflect. And what you had… wasn’t what you thought it was.
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Yesterday felt like a turning point — a real, tangible shift. For the first time in what feels like forever, I felt like me again. Not the version of me that was moulded by someone else’s expectations or dulled by constant emotional weight. Just… me. It hit me at that party last night. I’d been dreading it, overthinking it, planning my exit before I even stepped through the door. But what happened was something totally unexpected — I had a great time. I mingled. I laughed. I moved between groups of people and actually connected. And not once did I…
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She had the idea that real love meant being everything for each other — always together, doing everything as one, never apart. But that wasn’t what I believed love needed to be. For me, love is also about breathing room. Space. The ability to maintain who you are within the relationship. I believe that to truly love someone, you need to let them grow as an individual too. That doesn’t mean being distant or disengaged — it means trusting one another enough to live your own lives and still choose to come together. There needs to be space in a…
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Healing is a weird process. So many times — as you’ll have seen in some of my previous posts — I feel like I’m improving. I’ll have a good day, maybe even a few strung together. I get up, crack on with the day, see friends, socialise. And then suddenly, something hits — a thought, a memory, a silence — and I feel like I’m right back at the beginning. There are days I move from bed to sofa and that’s it. I’m paralysed with anxiety. Heart racing, thoughts spinning, completely stuck. I literally cannot move.
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On Wednesday, I had to go to my ex’s house. There were a few final bits to collect, and we needed to swap SIM trays — one of those dull, emotionless jobs that still manages to carry the weight of everything it represents. There was no drama. No questions. Just in and out. But in that brief time, I got to see the kids for the first time in weeks. And as simple as it was — a hug, a chat, a quick catch-up — it meant the world. They were full of stories, full of energy. And I realised…
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Every message from you is like a knife right through my heart. I feel like I’ve took one step forward but then I’m right back to the start. Sitting in the darkness thoughts running through my head. Why are you planning a life with him when you should be with me instead. All the things we shared together now buried in the past. What we had was special, I just assumed we’d last. I can’t cope the thought of you with anybody else. Our hopes and dreams are shattered now, like pictures swatted from a shelf. This poem captures the…
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