It’s easy, after a breakup, to get stuck in the why.

Why did this happen?

Why didn’t they try harder?

Why wasn’t I enough?

I’ve asked all of those questions — more times than I care to admit.

But lately, I’ve started asking a different one:

What can I do to be better?

I’ve started counselling. And I’ll be honest — I’ve never been one to fully embrace it before. I always thought, “I know myself. I can figure this out on my own.” But knowing yourself and understanding yourself are two very different things. I’ve realised I have old wounds I never fully healed from. I’ve realised I can be defensive. That I sometimes shut down when I’m overwhelmed. And yes, that I’ve raised my voice when I should have paused and breathed instead.

It’s not easy admitting those things. But it’s necessary.

I want to grow. Not to win someone back. Not to prove a point.

But because I owe it to myself.

Because I want to walk into whatever my future holds as the best version of me — someone who communicates better, loves more consciously, and lives more intentionally.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days I still feel like I’m circling the same thoughts. But I’ve learned that’s okay too.

Repetition is part of the process.

Some lessons we have to keep revisiting before they finally sink in.

I know there will still be hard days. I’m not pretending otherwise.

But today, I feel clearer. Lighter.

And that’s enough.