Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop looking back. For me, that meant shutting off the window into my ex’s world on social media. I removed her ability to see any of my spaces, and I limited my ability to see hers.

It sounds simple, but that was exactly what I needed. For too long, I was punishing myself—reading her posts, knowing they were lies, and still letting them get under my skin. Anyone who truly knows me knows they were nonsense, but I couldn’t stop looking. Until I realised, I was making my own healing harder.

The minute I switched it all off, things changed. The panic attacks eased. The anxiety lifted. The darkness shifted.

For the past two weeks, I haven’t struggled at all. The 3am wakeups are gone. I’m off work for a week, and for the first time in a long time, I slept in until 9am. Yesterday, I had a couch day—but not the kind where I was stuck there, paralysed by anxiety. This time, I was just watching TV, laughing, and enjoying my own company.

I even went out on Saturday. I was supposed to meet someone—a kind of date—but she didn’t turn up. And you know what? I wasn’t gutted. I stayed out, had drinks, laughed, met new people. I got home around midnight and ended up sitting up until 2am talking with my daughter.

That’s the difference now. I don’t look back at my past relationship with heartache anymore. I don’t dwell on what was, or what could have been. I see it for what it was, with clarity. And I appreciate my life now for what it is.

It might sound bad to some, but I’ve found freedom in this space. Not having to run around after kids constantly. Not dealing with a messy house. Being able to go out, have a drink, see friends. It’s independence I’d forgotten I valued. In that relationship, I gave away more of my independence than I should have.

I don’t need to go over all that again—I’ve written about it before. The important thing is this: I’m healed now. I’m content with my situation. I’m no longer fighting against it—I’m embracing it.

Healing isn’t about going back to how things were. It’s about finding peace in how things are now. And I’ve found that peace.